It is common for intense and persistent questions to trouble a woman after an abortion:
- “Was abortion the right choice after all?’
- “What would my life be like if I had kept the child?”
- “Will I always feel grief and guilt for what I did?”
- “I can't take these dreams over and over again, I want to get rid of them!”
- “When will the crying stop? I cry at the slightest thing.”
- “Will I ever forget it?”
- “There are times I wonder if everything in my life seems colourless because of that moment... but how is it possible, years have passed since the abortion?”
For some researchers, abortion is a traumatic experience, and they even describe its psychological effects as «post-abortion syndrome».
Other researchers have drawn a parallel between abortion and the loss and grief that follows the loss of someone significant, a loved one. This is a well-founded parallel given that a woman instantly loses the foetus and the relationship she had developed with it both physically and psychologically. After all, the mental health of women who have had an unwanted pregnancy is influenced by many factors. These factors pre-exist and coexist in the woman's life circumstances and accordingly increase or decrease the risk of her mental health being disturbed, regardless of how she manages her pregnancy. More specifically, what matters is how the woman gives meaning to the pregnancy, the abortion (e.g., is abortion a loss or a salvation?), as well as her ability to cope with any decision she makes. Also important are the emotional management strategies she has developed up to that point in her life. Another significant factor is the local and wider socio-political culture in which the woman lives. Specifically, public opinion is capable of stigmatising the situation (e.g. teenage pregnancy) or the woman's decision, and of influencing the decisions she will make, her feelings and how she will manage them. The social burden a woman carries on her shoulders can be summarised in the phrase: “What will people say?”
What are the potential symptoms that appear after an abortion?;
(Before listing the potential symptoms, I must emphasise that abortion did is always the cause of these symptoms, but as an intense psychological experience it has the potential to trigger them; more information in the article: What are the symptoms of post-abortion syndrome (Post Abortion Syndrome)?; or the article: What is Post Abortion Syndrome? Does it exist?; )
- Intense emotions, such as guilt, anxiety, a sense of emptiness
- Sleep problems, insomnia and nightmares
- Difficulty in making decisions
- Frequent crying
- Suicidal tendencies, self-harm tendencies
- Increase in unhealthy behaviours, such as drug use or abuse, alcohol abuse, or food
- Reduced self-care capacity
- Depression
- Inability to support the role of mother and wife, if a family exists
- Inability to perform in the work environment
- Desire for an immediate pregnancy, even though the reasons that led to the abortion still exist
- Dysfunction in her sexual life
- Self-destructive behaviours and a weak mother-child relationship have been observed in children born in the future
- Dysfunction in the couple's relationship
If you recognise yourself in the above or in self-assessment questionnaire then it might be useful to seek help or therapy.
Therapeutic method for emotional recovery after abortion
My initial studies in physiotherapy enable me to deeply understand how demanding the physical experience of an abortion is and to combine this knowledge with the psychological processes taking place at that time. The method I use for emotional recovery after an abortion is integrative. It combines cognitive analytic psychotherapy (CAT) with body-oriented Gestalt therapy. CAT enables us to analyse how a woman's mental health is affected by her relationship with her family, her partner and even her social environment. With body-oriented Gestalt, the above analysis is enriched and enables us to approach the traumatic event of the abortion with the aim of healing it. Thus, we give the body the opportunity to «speak» about the experience of the abortion, and for the processing of the emotions created at the time of the abortion to take place
It is common for a woman to feel alone after an abortion, having shouldered the burden of the symptoms I have described above. In our country, at least 150,000 abortions take place annually. This means that around you there are many women with a similar experience. Unfortunately, it is common for there to be few people you can trust and talk to about your experience and what it means to you. Usually, few or even none of your social and family circle are able to truly understand how you feel after an abortion.
Particular personal reasons as well as clinical experience in post-abortion syndrome led me to deepen and broaden both my knowledge and the therapeutic techniques and methods for addressing it.