Reading time: ~9 minutes
By the end of the article, you will have understood:
- γwhy the struggle with the body in summer is almost never about the body, but almost always about something older,
- how shame acts as an invisible mechanism that keeps your nervous system on high alert,
- what it means to listen to what your body is trying to tell you without trying to «fix» it.
It is early summer, others are talking about the beach, holidays, summer plans and you feel a vague tightness that is not easy to name.
It is not that you do not want to go to the beach too nor are you reacting out of laziness or indifference. It is something deeper and more inexplicable, which your body knows, but your mind has not yet formulated.
This article will not tell you how to «love your body». You will not find five steps here, nor positive affirmations. What we will attempt here is an effort to understand together why summer might trigger something you have been carrying from the past and what that means for you.
Why is summer harder for body image?;
Maria, 34, came to therapy in June. She told me that every year, as soon as summer begins, she feels «frozen». She cancels trips, turns down beach invitations, and finds herself doing chores while her friends swim. «I know it is irrational,» she told me. «But I cannot.»
(Details have been changed for privacy reasons.)
This «I know, but I cannot» is precisely the point worth examining together.
Summer sharply increases the visibility of the body and this triggers memories of criticism that the nervous system has stored as a threat.
At any other time of the year, the body is mostly covered. There are clothes, layers, distances. In July, all of that disappears. The beach, the changing room, the image of the body in a swimsuit in front of a mirror are situations that dramatically increase exposure. And for many people, this exposure is not neutral.
Research on a sample of adults showed that the seasonal increase in bodily visibility in the summer is linked to increased negative mood, intensified self-monitoring, and feelings of body shame, regardless of actual body weight or morphology. In other words: it is not about «how you look», but what gets triggered when you are seen.
Added to this is social comparison — direct, visual, relentless. On the beach, on social media, in holiday photos. In the team at ReConnect Therapy , we often observe people saying «I don't care what others think» while at the same time avoiding any situation that exposes them. The body knows what the mind denies.
How is body shame expressed and how is it connected to past trauma?;
Body shame is the deep feeling that I am wrong rather than that I have something wrong, and it is often rooted in past experiences, not in the mirror.
Herein lies a crucial difference worth pausing on: shame is not the same as guilt. Guilt says «I did something wrong». Shame says «I am wrong». The former concerns an action, the latter concerns the entire self.
When shame is tied to the body, it becomes even more complex. Because you cannot leave your body at home. It follows you everywhere. And if your body is the source of shame, the only solution the nervous system finds is avoidance. So what do you do? You cover up, you withdraw, you cancel.
According to research, shame acts as a mediator between traumatic experiences and PTSD symptoms. Simply put: it is not just the traumatic event that hurts. It is what you developed about yourself because of it. «This happened to me because of who I am.» «My body doesn't deserve to be seen».
These thoughts were not born just now neither from you, but previously from somewhere else.
Why are you avoiding the beach, when you want to go?;
Avoidance is a way your nervous system tells you «I am not safe here» and this message was not created just now.
The nervous system does not forget. You may not clearly remember what they said back then, who looked at you like that, which moment made you want to disappear. But your body remembers.
Peter Levine describes how trauma leaves «unfinished responses» in the nervous system, survival responses (flight, freeze, fight) that were not completed at the time of the original experience. These responses remain stored and seek an opportunity to manifest or be avoided once again.
Η avoidance of the beach, therefore, is not a personal whim. It is the nervous system doing what it has learned to do: protect. The problem is that this protection comes at a cost to joy, connection and freedom.
How does childhood body criticism survive in an adult body?;
The words we heard about our bodies as children did not just remain as memories, but became reflexive bodily reactions that are triggered automatically.
A child who grows up with systematic criticism regarding their body, such as «look how fat you've become», «you shouldn't eat so much», «you're not sitting properly», «what's wrong with you?», does not process these words as external opinions. They internalise them as truths about themselves.
A child's brain has not yet developed the filters that allow them to say «this is someone else's opinion, not reality», so the criticism goes straight inside them and is stored as «that's just the way I am».
In therapy team we observe that body shame rarely concerns the «now» and almost always conceals a «then». And that «then» might be a grandmother's comment, a group of friends in primary school, a parent who believed they were «helping», or a look that was never forgotten.
How does shame «reside» in the body?;
Shame is not just a state of mind. It activates the autonomic nervous system in ways similar to trauma.
Hilary Lewis described how shame is accompanied by immediate physical reactions: blushing, a desire to «disappear», collapsing shoulders, lowering the gaze, tightening in the stomach. It is not a metaphor, it is physiology.
This means that working with body shame is not done solely by «thinking differently». It also needs to pass through the body, through safe contact with bodily sensations, through the regulation of the nervous system, through the slow, patient re-examination and re-familiarisation with what you were afraid to see.
When do you need professional support?;
Not every difficulty with the body, is an issue that requires therapy. Some signs, however, warrant more attention:
- Η avoidance of physical situations (beach, changing room, sexual intercourse, doctor) significantly affects your daily life.
- You feel that you «aren't worthy» of showing up or claiming space.
- There are memories or experiences connected to your body that cause you intense distress.
- Your relationship with food, exercise or appearance has extreme cycles.
In these cases, therapeutic work can make a real difference.
Start with a simple exercise in curiosity
Next time you feel a struggle with your body:
- Stop for a second and ask: «Where do I feel this in my body?» In the stomach? In the chest? In the shoulders?;
- Don't try to change it, just observe it.
- Ask: «When is the first time I remember feeling this emotion?»
You don't need to find the answer right away. The question itself starts to ease something.
The first step is not to «stop» feeling bad, but to learn how to regulate. Here we talk in detail about self-regulation and the nervous system and why it is the foundation of every change.
If you want to better understand how shame works and how it differs from guilt in therapeutic work, this article provides a very clear picture.
And if you are wondering what progress looks like on this journey, here we describe how the relationship with the body changes within therapy without exaggerations and without unrealistic promises.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is it normal to feel worse in the summer than in the winter?; Yes, and it is more common than we think. The increased physical exposure of summer triggers reactions that remain dormant during the winter. It does not mean that «you are worse off», but that something is asking for attention.
How do I know if my difficulty with my body is related to past trauma?; One sign is disproportion: your reaction seems «too intense for the situation». If a simple comment about the body overwhelms you with shame or if avoidance is almost automatic, it is worth exploring with a therapist.
Can body image change without the body itself changing?; Yes, and that is precisely the point. Body image is not a mirror, it is a construct. It changes when the beliefs and emotions that shape it change. This shift happens from the inside out.
What does trauma-informed psychotherapy mean for the body?; It means that instead of «fixing» thoughts or behaviours directly, we start by understanding the nervous system:
what triggers it, what soothes it, and how we can gradually build a sense of safety within the body.
In short
The difficulty with the body in summer is rarely about the body itself. It almost always conceals past experiences of criticism, exposure, or shame that have been stored in the nervous system. Avoidance is not weakness: it is the way the body protects itself from something that once hurt. The therapeutic journey does not ask you to «love your body», but to begin listening to it with less fear.
If you would like to discuss something that concerns you in more detail, you can get in touch with us here
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The article is based on the science of psychology and the clinical experience of psychotherapists. It has a psychoeducational character and does not replace psychotherapy, medical or psychiatric evaluation, nor can it cover the uniqueness of every relationship and every lived experience. If you are experiencing intense mental distress, dysregulation, violence, coercion or the feeling that you are not a safe person within your relationship, it is important to seek personalised professional support.
Artificial intelligence may be used supportively in the process of researching, organising and cross-referencing contemporary literature. However, the final text, ideas, clinical judgement, language and responsibility for publication belong to us. Every article is written and edited with human thought, clinical experience and respect for the person reading it.
Written by: Philippos Gkekas, Psychologist Psychotherapist, creator of ReConnect Therapy alongside the scientific team of ReConnectt Therapy.
References
1. Seah, R., & Berle, D. (2022). Shame mediates the relationship between negative trauma attributions and posttraumatic stress disorder symptoms in a trauma-exposed sample. Clinical Psychology in Europe, 4(3).
2. Griffiths, S., Murray, S. B., Mitchison, D., & Mond, J. M. (2021). Beach body ready? Shredding for summer? A first look at “seasonal body image.” Body Image, 37, 215–226.
3. van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Viking.
4. Tangney, J. P., & Dearing, R. L. (2002). Shame and guilt. Guilford Press.
5. Levine, P. A. (1997). Waking the tiger: Healing trauma. North Atlantic Books.
6. Lewis, H. B. (1971). Shame and guilt in neurosis. International Universities Press.